Nielson: Scrambled ‘Cinemax’ Channel Ratings Surpass Impeachment Inquiry Hearings

(New York, New York) – In a surprising announcement, ratings watchdog Nielson Media Group has released…

Restaurant Chain Chick-Fil-A Begins Hosting ‘Drag Queen Story Hours’

(Portland, Oregon) – It’s Tuesday night at the newest Chick-Fil-A location in downtown Portland, and dozens…

Trump is Responsible For Everything Wrong in the World, Say People Who Have Been In Washington Over 3 Decades

Photo: Corruption in politics? Trump’s fault. (Washington, D.C.) – Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY), in Washington since…

Clown Organization Chief: Stop Associating Us With Democrats

Photo: A clown, possibly insane and in a posse. (Peru, Indiana) – As the #ClownWorld hashtag…

Opinion: The United States of America is a Country

Photo: The American flag is yet another piece of circumstantial evidence that this is indeed a…

Advertisers Flee Tucker Carlson After He’s Captured On Hidden Audio Saying “Everyone Should Just Try And Get Along”

Photo: Tucker Carlson wants everyone to be just as happy as he is here. That monster.…

Federal Reserve Urges Americans to Buy Bitcoin

Photo: Enough cash to get one item off of McDonald’s Dollar Menu (New York, New York)…

Mark Zuckerberg: I Don’t Know Why They Call It Big Tech. I’m Only 5′ 7″

Photo: Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg definitely not looking like a robot (Washington, D.C.) –  The House…

California Officials Shocked Consumers Would Rather Pay 70% Less for Black Market Cannabis

Photo: Cannabis. AKA: the devil’s weed (LOS ANGELES, CA – ) As marijuana legalization measures continue…

Avocado Shortage Devastates Hipster Community

Photo: Hubert Thorn Elm Smith, 33, of Williamsburg, prepares to put on a bow tie (Brooklyn,…