Chinese Report No New Cases of Coronavirus; Also That They Have Very Large Penises

(Bejing, China) – The Chinese Communist Party issued a statement Saturday reporting no new cases of the Novel Coronavirus having popped up within the country’s borders over the last 24 hours. The statement also went onto contend that all men in China have very large penises.

“Our genitalia is as big as our coronavirus case load is small,” wrote Li Dequan of China’s Ministry of Health.

Not Done Bragging

The press release makes additional claims that some foreign affairs experts have called into question.

“It says that they have the ‘world’s best drivers’,” analyst Charles U. Meyer of The Brookings Institute told The Fake Scoop. “I’ve seen no evidence of that.”

Press Impressed

“It’s amazing that China can get rid of all cases so quick, unlike Trump,” wrote Washington Post conservative blogger Jennifer Rubin. “And I never knew that about their men!”