Expert: Trump May Give the Queen a “Noogie”

Photo: Soldiers with large hats stand ready to protect the Queen from Trump’s aggression

(London, England) – As preparations ramp up for this week’s much anticipated Trump Royal visit, a non-partisan expert is raising concerns over how the President may conduct himself.

“Will he bring McDonald’s to the Royal dinner?” asks Prof. Shellford, the head of the Etiquette department at New York University.

Late last week it emerged that Trump intended to challenge outgoing British Prime Minister Theresa May to an arm wrestling match, but that notion has since been stymied by Melanie.

“It will be thumb wrestling at most,” said a spokesman for the First Lady’s office.

The “Noogie”

President Trump has long been fascinated by the “noogie”, defined as a “hard poke or grind with the knuckles, especially on a person’s head.” In fact, he listed it as his second favorite negotiating tactic in his best-selling book The Art of the Deal.

When pressed for comment, White House deputy spokesman Michael McCray pushed back.

“What’s the big deal,” he told The Fake Scoop. “The Queen can take it.”