“Please Don’t Show Up Unless You Want All Your Dreams to Come True,” Biden Tells Potential Migrants

(Washington, D.C.)  – With the rate of illegal immigration the highest in decades, administration officials are desperately trying to come to grips as to the reason why.

During a recent interview on Spanish-language television, President Biden didn’t mince words with Noticiero Univision host Jorge Ramos.

“Please don’t show up unless you want all your dreams to come true,” Biden told the program’s 1.6 million viewers. “I’m talking free cars, free houses, free Netflix – all on uncle Joe.”

Migrants Comply

After a harrowing 1323 mile journey from Guatamala, 17 year old Sebastian Tenorio chose to give up just a half a mile from the border upon hearing the news.

“Mr. Biden did ask nicely,” Tenorio told The Fake Scoop in Spanish.