Democrats Propose Plan to Tackle Burgeoning L.A. Homeless Crises: Import Many More Penniless Illegal Migrants

Photo: Los Angeles-area homeless man waits patiently for new migrants to arrive

(Los Angeles, CA) – Despite massive government welfare expenditures designed to stem the tide, a new study has revealed that homelessness has increased 16% in the city of Los Angeles.

“There’s no need for anyone to panic,” California Gov. Gavin Newsom told a group of advocates who had gathered to discuss the results. “We have a plan”.

Importing Penniless Migrants

“You know all those migrants coming illegally from Central America, who have no money, job skills, and don’t speak English?”, Newsom began excitedly. “Well we’re going to have the Border Patrol drop them off on Skid Row.”

“As soon as they find a place on the sidewalk to set up their cardboard box shelter, then they can begin solving this problem,” he concluded.

Reaction On The Street

“Esto sigue siendo mejor que las cosas en Guatemala,” recent arrival Emmanuel Gallo told The Fake Scoop. “Además, me dan agujas gratis para mi adicción a las drogas.

Plan B

“If this plan fails – which we don’t see how it could – then we’ll go with ‘Plan B’,” Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti told reporters gathered outside city hall. “It’s complicated, but it involves making it impossible for any developer to build new housing.”