Jimmy Carter Enters Democratic Presidential Primary

(Plains, Georgia) – In a move that is sure to the shake up the ever-evolving Democratic Presidential primary, former President James Earl “Jimmy” Carter, age 95, has announced his late entry in the race to be his party’s 2020 nominee.

“He’s eligible since he only served one term,” Constitutional law expert Johnathan Turley told The Fake Scoop. 

Broadsides Begin

Holding a press conference on his front porch, former President Carter assailed current Democratic front-runner Joe Biden as a brash young kid.

“Joe probably doesn’t even remember prohibition,” Carter said with laugh. “How could he possibly be old enough to be President?”

After pausing for twenty minutes to take his pills, Carter continued the line of attack.

“I heard he called someone a ‘lying, dog-faced pony soldier’,” the former peanut farmer said. “Biden and his friends might use that kind of profanity down at the carhop, but I would never.”

Jimmy’s Agenda

“First things first, we’re going to get those Iran Embassy hostages released,” Carter told the quickly dwindling group of reporters.