Biden Says ‘Vaccine Passport’ Needed to Get Into Barn Dances, Medicine Shows

(Washington, DC) – Amid privacy and other concerns regarding the so-called “Vaccine Passport”, President Biden – a member of The Silent Generation – attempted to offer some tantalizing reasons why Americans should support the idea.

“Old Betty Sue ain’t gonna wait around forever,” Biden told reporters in between nap times.  “Sure you might run into her at the Milking Contest, but by then she’ll already be making eyes at Billy Bob.”

“Better hurry and mail that vaccine passport to your record player,” the 78-year-old implored.

And you don’t want to miss out when that medicine show comes to town. That’s where I got that Wizard Oil. Cured Ole’ Jill of the vapors, yes it did.”