World Wildlife Fund Ends Association With Elephants Over Ties To Republicans

(Gland, Switzerland -) In a move few saw coming, Elephants have been canceled.

“We’ve already removed the ability to ‘Adopt an Elephant’ from our website, and we are working with conservationists across Africa and Asia to begin lobbying against anti-poaching laws,” the World Wildlife Foundation announced today.

“We profusely apologize for ever getting those enacted in the first place,” the lengthy statement read.

Just the Beginning

Users on Twitter were quick to point out that Elephants have friends – that also have a lot to answer for.

“I’ve seen them hanging out with antelope,” wrote actress Alicia Silverstone to her over 300k followers.

Touchy Subject

The Fake Scoop got in touch with Democratic nominee Joe Biden via telephone, asking what he thought of the donkey as the Democratic Party mascot.

“Who you calling a jackass, you dog-faced pony soldier,” Biden told TFS. “Want to take it outside?”