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Left Wing Activists Outraged After Learning Bob Mueller is a White Male

May 29, 2019
Staff Writer
12,030 Comments

Photo: Former Trump Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller flaunting his pale skin and penis

(Washington, D.C.) – In a shocking twist to a years long legal drama, it has recently been revealed that “Russiagate” Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller is, in fact, a white male.

At a Sunday morning rally held in front of the Justice Department, progressive speakers voiced their displeasure.

“No wonder he didn’t find the results we expected,” said Center for American Progress spokesperson Cloudsounds Zenquest. “This can’t be allowed to stand.”

“I had my suspicions all along,” added Rep. Ocasio-Cortez. “But I just thought, like, he was a black guy who had that Michael Jackson disease or something.”

In Georgetown Saturday night a bond-fire to burn “It’s Mueller Time” t-shirts raged out of control, destroying several buildings.

Senate Intelligence committee chair Sen. Richard Burr has rejected calls to begin the investigation anew, this time headed by Female African American Rep. Maxine Waters.

“Rep. Waters is much too valuable serving our country in Congress,” Burr – a Republican – told NBC. “I suggest a different impartial citizen, such as Al Sharpton.”

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