Greta Thunberg Reportedly On Biden VP Shortlist

(Wilmington, DE) –  Speculation is rampant in political circles that presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden – who has promised to choose a female as his running mate – is strongly considering 17-year-old Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg for the role.

A Democratic consultant appearing Friday on MSNBC denied “Republican conspiracy theories” that she is constitutionally ineligible due to her age and country of origin.

Names such as Sen. Katherine Harris (D-CA), Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D-MI), and Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-MN) have also been bandied about.

“None of those have the pizzazz of Thunberg,” a spokesperson for Justice Democrats told Rachel Maddow.

On the Job Learning

Many critics of the pick have pointed to Thunberg’s complete lack of executive or government experience.

“Joe will have three or four months to teach her the ropes before he goes completely senile,” counters a pro-Thunberg editorial in Sunday’s New York Times.

Unstoppable Momentum

Biden’s choice of Thunberg to be a heartbeat away from the presidency appears to be a nearly foregone conclusion.

“How dare he think about choosing anyone else,” David Brooks recently told a PBS panel. “It’s the least we can do after stealing her childhood.”