Democrats Protest Lack of Handouts in $3 Trillion CARES Legislation

(Washington, D.C.) – The $3 trillion CARES aid package recently passed by the Democratic-led U.S. House is being criticized by many for its lack of largesse.

“Yes, the bill provides a half dozen PlayStation 4 consoles to the Mine Safety and Health Administration, but are these public servants supposed to pay for their own games?,” Rep. Occasio-Cortez (D-NY) wrote on Twitter.

Pelosi Defends

House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) defended the legislation as “a good start” given Republican intransigence.

“We know the $24 million allocated for Drag Queen Story Hours isn’t enough, but during this crisis we all have to make sacrifices,” her office told The Fake Scoop.

Lots Left Out

Washington Post op-ed attacked Republicans for their unwillingness to fund daily foot massages for the nation’s 169,000 federal inmates.

“They obviously don’t care about grandma dying,” the newspaper wrote.