(Washington, D.C.) – According to a recent article from the Associated Press, the leading Democratic Party presidential nominee Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) is 78 years old.
After looking into this claim, we here at The Fake Scoop have given it a rating of “half true”.
“Technically that’s correct, but it’s highly misleading,” TFS Editor-at-Large Tommy-Ray Oatchaster told reporters via conference call from an undisclosed bunker. “In dog years he’s not even a teenager”
Welcome News
“I was worried that he might be too old, but this assuages all of my concerns,” Democratic primary voter Sharon Timms, 47, told CNN. “Who’s a good boy? Bernie’s a good boy,” she added.
Writing on Twitter, longtime Democratic Party consultant and frequent Sander’s critic James Carville offered an optimistic take.
“Credit where credit is due. Presenting the age issue like this is a smart move,” Carville wrote. “Who doesn’t like dogs? Except cat people, but screw them.”
Lunar Letdown
The jubilation among Sanders supporters about his young age in dog years was tempered with the revelation that on Earth’s Moon – where most of his ideas come from – the leading Democrat candidate is significantly older.
“A moon year is only 27 days,” Stanford astrophysicist Larry Clemons told TFS. “That makes Sanders somewhere around 1000 years old.”