Opinion: The United States of America is a Country

Photo: The American flag is yet another piece of circumstantial evidence that this is indeed a country

By Tommy-Ray Oatchaser, Editor of The Fake Scoop

With thousands of foreigners demanding and being granted entry into this region of the world daily, you wouldn’t be wrong to question if this land mass we “Americans” live in is really a country. After all, how could this be a country when it doesn’t seem to have borders?

But no worries, ladies and gentleman, because I’m here with some good news: The United States of America very well may be a country after all.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Old Tommy-Ray Oatchaser needs to get off the crack cocaine.” But my constant crack use is besides the issue.

Evidence Is Piling Up

You know those people down in Washington D.C. that they put on network TV every Sunday morning? It turns out those are called “politicians.” I’m not certain how, but I’m pretty sure they’re somehow linked to this country thing.

And don’t forget about the “National Anthem” – that song Jimi Hendrix created back in the late ’60s.  It’s possible that it is more than just something for NFL players to exploit. This could also be involved in this “country” theory of mine.

Certainty Eludes

Seeking a second opinion, I contacted Prof. James Sheldon, the head of the Political Science Department at George Washington University.

“Stop spreading that nonsense that America is a country,” Prof. Sheldon wrote back to me via email. “Or else I’ll be forced to report you to the Federal authorities.”