(Denver, CO) – With Major League Baseball’s decision to move the All Star game out of Atlanta following the passage of a controversial bill, ‘social justice’ activists within the sport are seeking other changes to America’s pastime.
“We don’t think the bases should be white. It’s oppressive,” Atlanta Braves star Freddie Freeman told The Fake Scoop. “It reminds me of that awful law that requires people to prove their identity in order to vote.”
“Why is the ump always dusting off the plate? White supremacy, probably,” L.A. Dodgers outfielder Mookie Bets wrote in a since deleted tweet.
In an apology-laden press release, MLB spokesman Rob Manfred promised to promptly spray paint the bases Black and to do better in the future.
“We know the hurt that this has caused, and the responsible parties have been dealt with,” the release concluded ominously.