Study: Thousands of Recently Laid Off Journalists Have Learned to Code

Photo: A recently laid off journalist takes the advice of right-wing Twitter

(Austin, Texas) – In a somewhat surprising result, a study released today by the conservative-leaning Heritage Foundation has found that of the thousands of recently laid off journalists, the vast majority have learned to code.

“We expected maybe 50% of them would learn to code, but not nearly all of them,” said the study’s author, Charles Cooper.

The Fake Scoop met up with former Slate journalist Jeremy Cantrell in the cafeteria of his new employer Dell, Inc.

“Thank God my friends on Twitter gave me that advice. It has totally changed my life,” Cantrell told TFS.

“Now instead of acting as a propaganda mouthpiece for the corrupt establishment, I’m actually doing something useful,” he continued.

Unexpected Friendship

In the cubicle next to Cantrell is another economic refugee – former West Virginia coal miner Cletus-Jo Seedgreaser.

“Cletus-Jo and I have become very close,” Cantrell said with a smile. “He’s invited me over this weekend for a tractor-pull.”