Mark Zuckerberg: I Don’t Know Why They Call It Big Tech. I’m Only 5′ 7″

Photo: Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg definitely not looking like a robot

(Washington, D.C.) –  The House Judiciary Committee announced yesterday a series of investigatory hearings concerning the competitive atmosphere in Silicon Valley. Although not yet named specifically, one of the industry giants expected to receive scrutiny is social media company Facebook, Inc.

As the news broke Monday, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg was the honored guest at a luncheon fundraiser for “I’m Glad There Are Snakes On The Plane” (IGTASOTP), a grassroots organization opposed to the negative portrayal of snakes in movies.

“I don’t know why they call it big tech. I’m only 5’ 7″”, Zuckerberg told the group of herpetologists in response to the announcement.

“One of these guys could probably swallow me, not that these gentle giants ever would,” Zuckerberg said while motioning toward the giant anacondas on display at the back of the hall. “I repeat, snakes rarely if ever eat people,” he insisted loudly.

Little Progress in Past

In recent years large technology companies have come under fire from both sides of the aisle. Congress has previously attempted to investigate Facebook, but has met stiff resistance from the young billionaire.

“In the last hearing I told him he was being obstructive, and he said ‘I know you are but what am I?’” House Judiciary Chairman Jerry Nadler told The Fake Scoop. “There was nothing else I could do.”

“I liked MySpace better”, Nadler confided. “Tom was my friend.”